Sally Elizabeth Tonks Koca

Sad times have ruled recently. Diane's beloved sister, Sally lost her 15 month battle against colon cancer. She was diagnosed at age 49, before the recommended age for one's first colonoscopy. The aggressive tumor took over and Sally died on April 8, 2016. Her memorial service was April 22, 2016. I was asked to read her eulogy which I was able to to do but some difficulty. She was an amazing person and I wanted to include it here.

The Sally Elizabeth Tonks Koca Eulogy

At Christ First Baptist Church, Covina, CA: April 22, 2016

I brought my own water bottle because the eyes may get wet but the mouth gets dry.

Hi, I’m Jim Mackin. I’m Sally’s brother in law, Diane’s husband. Sally, Buggy, Bug. That nine year old little girl at our wedding 41 years ago. We watched her grow from a child to a teenager, to a woman, a magnificent woman.

I feel deeply honored that Barry has asked me to read the eulogy he has so lovingly written.

We are here today to mourn the loss of a wonderful woman, Sally Tonks Koca. We are also here today to celebrate her life as she touched all of our lives in different ways.

On behalf of the Tonks Family, Sally’s son, Sequoyah Brightcloud, Barry Koca and his Family, we want to thank you for honoring Sally today and for all the cards, prayers and support you have showered on Sally and our Families over the past 15 months.

You all know there is no way to capture and summarize Sally’s spirit on a sheet of paper. So we will do our best to embrace her passions, spirit and purpose over the past 50 years of her life.

Sally was gifted in many ways and as child in kindergarten she began dance classes, quickly progressing into ballet where she excelled and performed into her mid teens.  At the same time Sally enrolled in Girls Scouts where she earned numerous merit badges, learned many life long skills and developed a love for the outdoors through backpacking and hiking adventures.

Sally was loved by her three sisters and as the baby in the family they would often give Sally deference. Diane relates a time when Sally asked for a glass of ice water. As Diane descended the stairs she heard Sally say, “Crushed Please”. Sally had a very cute way of getting what she wanted and was courteous and kind. When she was tired she would roll up like Pill Bug and thus was given the nickname “Bug” or “Buggy” by her sisters. Sally adored her sisters and in later life was always excited to spend time with them or travel on trips together.

Girl Scouting became a big part of Sally’s formative years. Sally’s mother, Nona Tonks, supported Sally for many years through youth activities and held troop leadership positions providing a role model for Sally to follow in her later life.

At South Hills High School, Sally participated in Volleyball, Tennis and Performing Arts programs.

Sally liked to dress up and just try on clothes combinations. In fact, Sally was known to have a friend or two over and while getting ready to go out for the night Sally and her friends tried on different combinations of clothes all night, and never went out. That connection time was more meaningful to Sally than going out into the world for the evening.

In Sally’s first year of college she participated in sorority activities and rowed crew for San Diego State Univ. Girl Scouts, ballet, acting, rowing crew…Sally could do it all and in diverse range of interests.

Sally moved to the Bay area in her early 20’s and explored many different life experiences, searching for her passion and purpose in life. She gravitated towards a Naturopathic lifestyle, which included whole and organic foods, healing herbs and a simple lifestyle. She lived and acted free of regard for conventional rules and practices.  Now that was Sally! She pursued knowledge of ancient wisdom that Mother Earth has provided to all of us.

After her son, Sequoyah was born in 1996 Sally completed her college degree at Sonoma State University in City and Regional Planning with a minor in Economics and helped support her new family.

Sequoyah was her shining light and purpose. She committed her life to being available and to being a great Mother. Sequoyah loved his Mom and is so grateful for all the love she has given him and the sacrifices she has made for him.

Sally volunteered for different Non Profit groups while working in city government.  One time she was working with the Meals on Wheels program for the rural elderly in Sonoma County. The County was discontinuing the rural program and Sally lobbied and fought the County and saved the program for these elderly in need!

After 20 years living in the Bay area, Sally moved back to Southern California with her 9 year old son, Sequoyah, where they joined Christ First Church.

Eight months after moving back, Sally met Barry on Match Dot Com. Barry and Sally each were encouraged by close friends to get on Match. This was completely foreign and weird to both. On their first date, Sally arrived early to the restaurant and sat out front of the restaurant, hoping to get a glimpse of him as he walked past and possibly go to plan B if needed. Barry on the other hand went into the restaurant through the back door to get a glimpse of Sally before entering through the front door. Since no one was in the restaurant, Sally sat in front on a bench and Barry circled around the outside of the restaurant towards the front where they both met outside and gave each other a big hug…. Sally and Barry felt an immediate and powerful connection.

Barry had never met such a vibrant and talented woman before and was in complete awe of Sally and her presence. Sally could sing lyrics to popular Country Western music from the 70’s followed by a discussion of classical music, all while juicing wheat grass, celery, ginger and carrots for them to drink. She could walk into a room and light it up with her Beautiful smile and confident elegant presence. Barry loved Sally dearly and asked for her hand in marriage. They married on April 26, 2009.

Sally loved the ocean, not only to be near it but more so to get in and swim. On a  date to the Balboa pier, Sally and Barry did not bring swim suits but were wearing shorts and short sleeves standing on the beach, looking at the water… Sally told Barry she was going to get in the ocean and swim and Barry thought she was joking since she did not have a swim suit... Suddenly, Sally laid down her purse and threw off her shoes then ran directly into the ocean. Of course Barry happily followed and they swam together! Sally also spent many hours at the ocean with Sequoyah and their two-person Kayak… Sally set her sights on taking classes for being certified to sail.

The most important life goals that Sally had when Barry met her were to be a great mother to Sequoyah and to be a spiritual warrior for God and Jesus.

Sally’s life long passion was to be on a Speaking and Motivational Leadership circuit.  Sally had been the keynote speaker at several women’s functions here at Christ First and was recognized by the Southern California Women’s Ministry District as having true speaking talent. They offered Sally a circuit speaking position. She declined honoring her commitment to Sequoyah to be present and available to him.

Sally was strong, athletic, able, and fearless. On her 43rd Birthday, her wish was to climb half dome in Yosemite. She was disappointed she was unable to ascend due to rain and fog. However, she did chase away bears that came into camp both nights of sleeping without tents at the Half Dome base camp. Sally slalom waterskied at the age of 45.  At 48, she hiked to the top of Sugarloaf Mountain with Barry on his 51^st birthday. She rode quads, scooters and motorcycles and obtained her motorcycle license at the age of 45.

She believed in the truth, the whole truth even if it was brutal. White lies, whining or sarcasm were not recognized as a legitimate form of communication. Her sisters may beg to differ on this point.  Sally wanted meaningful connection during each conversation. She wanted you to “say what you mean”, and to “use your words”, “not repeat yourself” and “never end a sentence with a preposition.

Sally believed in serving those in need. Several times each year, Sally and Barry prepared homeless kits with toiletries and food cards. Off to Pershing Square they went in downtown LA where they handed out these kits to the homeless. Asking each person their first name, Sally and Barry would pray for the homeless often receiving a big smile from each individual they met on the street. Sally knew there was no better service to humanity than to serve those in true need of the basic essentials in life.

Sally was a student of spiritual practice. She searched for Truth and Purpose. The Truth became clear for Sally with the birth of her son, Sequoyah and her baptism here at Christ First in 2005. She understood the spiritual connections of God and the Universe. She believed that elements such as light, sound, and color have been in existence for millions of years and that they connect all of us. That is why she smiled at strangers. Most importantly, she believed that God was the one source of sanctuary. She would strive to practice the ways of Jesus in order to serve mankind.

Sally was in the hospital when she was told her Father, Roy, died on February 10, 2016. She called her sisters offering to write and read the Eulogy at Roy’s memorial service. Sally was in the hospital herself the 5 days before and 4 days after Roy’s service. She was determined to be released from the hospital, attend the memorial service and read Roy’s eulogy. Sally sat in a wheel chair in the front of this sanctuary in great pain and discomfort and presented Roy’s eulogy, honoring her Father at his time of transition. Sally never complained about the pain she was suffering with or ask “why me” during her 15 months battle with cancer. Sally believed until the day she died that there was hope. She had tremendous Faith in where she was headed.

Seeing all the wonderful Family and Friends celebrating Sally in this sanctuary and the impact she has made in all our lives comforts us to know she is so loved and glorified by God for Eternity.

So, leave here today, examine your purpose in life, smile at strangers, and serve your fellow man. That is what Sally would want you to do.

May your spirit be strong.

More Zion May 2014

One week later finds us back in Zion. I tried to get a last minute Subway permit so I could take Julie on that adventure. No such luck ensued. We decided to make the most of it. We drove down Wednesday with a plan to hike the West Rim trail on Thursday and leave Friday open for some other adventure. I found out that the road to the West Rim trailhead may be washed out from the recent rains. In fact, Zion Adventure Company were not going to shuttle people to the trailhead on Thursday. We had to rethink our plans and decided that we would do the bottom up Zion Narrows hike. All of us(Me, Diane, Dick, Nancy) except Julie have done the top down hike. We got outfitted with fleece, dry pants, neoprene booties, river shoes and the ever essential walking stick. We then went off to dinner at Oscars. "Hungry? Don't blame Oscars". Cute slogan. We had a great meal and then went off to bed.

We woke up and suited up in our gear and went to catch the shuttle bus to the Visitor Center. Diane, Julie, and I met up with Dick and Nancy and loaded onto the canyon shuttle bus to take us to to the Temple Sinawava trailhead. The first part of the hike is on a paved sidewalk for about a mile. Then we enter the river, The Virgin River. It was a good thing we got outfitted. The water was cold and swift. Some of the hikers did not plan accordingly and seemed to be shivering and off balance. We had our walking sticks to keep us upright. The views were fabulous. We immediately entered the canyon with its sheer walls and dramatic scenery. We passed Mystery Falls, a route that climbers would rappel down to get into the canyon. The scenery was gorgeous but walking upstream seemed to be taking its toll on our leg muscles. Our goal was to make it to Big Springs. Diane and I decided to wait for a while and then turn around and head back while Dick, Nancy, and Julie went on ahead. I went back with Diane to paved part and then headed back upriver to meet up with the other group. We met up and found that the hike to Big Springs was quite a bit longer but well worth it. It was a strenuous day and the hike out was long and tiring. Then we had to ride the shuttle bus to the visitor center and then take the  city shuttle back to the motel. Almost too tired to eat, but somehow we managed. Everyone voted for Oscars again. I guess that is a pretty good recommendation. We were off to bed after dinner for we had an early start planned for the morning.

                                                     Bell's Waterfall

Diane and I decided to hike to the waterfall today. The first part of the trail has been our training hike that we do year round. In the winter we put on crampons and hike to the bridge. To the bridge, it is a distance of 1.5 miles. The waterfall is about another 1.5 miles but the grade increases dramatically. This hiking trail has gotten immensely popular. The parking lot is always full and there are cars lining both sides of the road. The first part of the hike is a nice family hike with a reservoir to view after about one mile. Many people who hike it for the first time are surprised at how strenuous the second part is.

We got an early start(to beat the crowds). And it was Sunday. Yeah, Sunday. Some people engage in other activities on that day. It was cool and crisp and we made good time to the bridge. The next landmark would be the Lone Peak Wilderness sign, about a quarter mile from the bridge. From the sign, the trail passes through greenery and shade. The steepness also increases after the sign. The trail winds over to the creek in a couple of places and the mist from the rushing water creates a cool mist. I have actually hiked the trail all the way without stopping and achieved my personal best. One hour and eleven minutes. Not today. With the crowds and the need for rest stops, we were in no hurry to get there. We just wanted to get there. And we did. The waterfall was rushing with more water than I have ever seen before. So much so that we could not get to our usual observation point but had to head down  to where the terrain was dry and not slippery. This seemed to be the gathering place for most of the hikers who had made it all the way. We took some pictures and had some refreshments and then headed back down. I think we can say that the hiking season has officially begun.

Subway, Number 10

Tenth Trip through the Subway

This one makes ten! The question is, will it be my last. Time will tell.

Dick and I navigated the Subway on May 1, 2014. The backdrop to the story is that I had procured a permit and thought that it was for May 8 but it was really for May 1(Yes, it could be old age). The other people signed up for the May 8 trip could not change their plans so Dick and I went down to do it. This early in May requires the use of wet suit to avoid hypothermia and death! We drove down Wednesday and rented the wet suits at Zion Adventure Company. Also, since the last trip, the route has changed. The last rappel required harnessing up and rappelling 30 feet. Dick bought a new rope as he was worried about my 11 mm rope going through the rappel device easily enough to keep us from getting stuck. We didn't want to do it if we could not do it safely.

Let's get hiking!  We left Hurricane early and drove to Virgin, Utah and then up Kolob Reservoir road and parked at the lower trailhead where we would leave my car. We checked our gear and loaded our backpacks. They were a bit heavier as we now had to haul full wetsuits. Our plan was to hitchhike up to the upper trailhead. We got lucky and I had my thumb out for 5 seconds before a man in a truck stopped to let us in. We tried to strike up a conversation with him but he seemed to just want to drive us. He dropped us off and we hit the trail. It was cool and crisp as we made our way through the forested section. We soon got to the slick rock of Russell Gulch and began our descent. The park service had been busy establishing a cairned route that kept hikers out of the forest area and more on the slick rock. Things were looking pretty familiar but every time is different. We dropped down through Russell Gulch and headed up to a ridge with a prominent hoodoo. This was reassuring and we then descended the ridge further down into Russell Gulch. We continued following cairns and walked up a plateau that overlooked the confluence of RG and the Left Fork. We descended the cleft chute and got to the pool below where we encountered 4 guys from Denver already putting on their wetsuits. We waded across the pool and started down the Left Fork. A ten minute walk got us to the first obstacle. Of the four options to get past these boulders of epic proportions, we took what turned out to be the easiest. On the right side of the canyon there was an old dead tree propped up between the canyon wall and a boulder. I did not see it right away but when I saw Dick throw his pack down with the rope attached, I gasped and said was that the rope. He then pointed out the dead tree that we could just climb down instead using the rope. Whew! We were now deep in the canyon with towering walls on either side of us. We walked in the watercourse and began to encounter deeper and deeper pools of water. We now put on our wetsuits for we knew a swim was coming up soon. The double or triple pools of water were extremely cold. We swam across, lugging our gear along with us. We stashed the things we wanted to keep dry in our dry bags.We continued down stream in the watercourse and came to another swim where there was a chockstone wedged between the canyon walls. Under the chockstone was a dead tree trunk that prevented one from swimming under the chockstone. We couldn't go under and it was almost too high and without handholds to pull oneself up and over. Dick went first. He struggled with it at first but then found a log floating in the water. He wedged it below the tree trunk and that gave him a step up to where he could climb over the obstacle. Following his lead, I went next bringing along the gear. When we emerged from the water, we realized that this watercourse could have been bypassed by climbing up on a slippery ledge on the left side and carefully making our way along the ledge until we came to a tree to handline down. Like I mentioned, every time is different. We headed downstream and went through some waist deep pools. There was a pour over that we had to lower ourselves slowly down and drop into the stream. Next, was Keyhole Falls. This was only a 10 foot drop but with a rope of 9.7 mm, it could be hard to hold onto to lower yourself. Dick harnessed up and rappelled down. I was wearing gloves so I slid down the rope. We were starting to head down stream when one of the guys from Denver caught up to us and told us that they had lost their rope. It went into one of the pools and try as they could, they could not find it. They asked if they could go with us and use our rope. We had little choice. We were in a deep canyon in waist deep water and even though we had wet suits, we began to get cold, especially our hands as we waited for the four person group rappel down. We suddenly went from a two person group to a six person group and this slowed us down considerably. We entered the "Subway" section and took pictures by the famous north pole tree trunk. We hiked together until we came to the final rappel. This part of the route has changed. One used to be able to walk across some logs to get to the other side of canyon and rappel down there. The logs have washed away and the park service advises against jumping the chasm. Instead, they have put in anchors and bolts on the near side where a harnessed rappel will take you 30 feet down to the canyon floor. The gang of six all got down. I went last. This is where we encountered permit holders who hiked the subway from the bottom up. They miss all the fun part I just described but they are treated to a wonderful view of the subway tunnels and red ledge cascades as they hike up. The hike out consists of many stream crossings and hiking in the watercourse. The cascades are beautiful but can sometimes be slippery. They were not this time. After about an hour of hiking, we looked on the right side of the canyon for dinosaur tracks that were laid down in a fossilized lake bed. We found them and pointed them out to some Japanese hikers who marveled at the sight and thanked us profusely for pointing them out. The hike out is pretty grueling. We removed our wetsuits, ate some food and drank some water. We found the hike out spot and began our 400 foot ascent to the Kolob plateau. After several rest stops, we leveled out and finished the last mile with a jaunty pace. The cold brewskis were a welcomed sight after our adventure in the wilderness.

The Henry's Fork of the Snake River

I had to play this one very carefully: and I did. You see, June 21 is my anniversary and it was also a day that I had off from work in Wyoming and I was invited to go fishing with a pediatric dentist that I work with. I petitioned Diane with a sad story of having very few days off this summer and asked if it would be all right if I went on this trip on our anniversary. She gave me her blessing and the planning began. Two pediatric dentists, Briant and Clark Romney travel from Salt Lake to Rock Springs to practice pediatric dentistry. They bring along their nephew, Drew who works for them. They do the surgical cases at the surgical center where I work. We always talk about fishing and lately we have been planning this trip up to Idaho. Briant suggested that I invite Tom Meuleman and he got a fishing pass from his wife as well. Tom arrived at my house at 4:30 am on Friday morning. We drove up to Briant's house in Bountiful and loaded up the boat and the truck. Briant;s son, Bri(or little Bri as we came to distinguish them) curled up in the back seat after drawing attention the mullet that Meuleman was working on.  Drew was bringing a second boat and would meet us up the road. We made good time to Idaho Falls and stopped at the Walmart and got provisions and fishing licenses. We went back on the road and met Drew in Ashton. We decided to fish the section of the Henry's fork designated Warm Creek to Ashton. With two cars we did a self shuttle and got on the river before noon. We started off picking up small fish with a dry dropper rig. It was a beautiful day and what we lacked in catching large numbers of fish was made up for by the pure beauty of the river and the experience of being in such a great place. We had a great float despite the fact that I developed a painful left shoulder. I did not injure it but it got more and more painful as the day went on.  We headed up the road and Tom and I checked into our motel, The Anglers Lodge. Then we drove out to the "Ranch" the nickname of the Idaho State Park Harriman Railroad Ranch an iconic stretch of the river known for its prolific spinner and green drake evening hatches. We saw only a few this evening and even fewer fish rising on the river. We left to go to dinner at Anglers Lodge. We had a great dinner overlooking the river and then Tom and I headed up to our room and the other three headed for a campground. It was decided to put the old folks in the motel. Tom gave me a shot of toradol before we went to bed.

The next morning we woke up to rain and drizzle. My shoulder felt only a little better but not so bad as to keep me from fishing. We had a big breakfast at Trout Hunter before we waited out a little rain and then headed up to Box Canyon for our float there. The shuttles were accomplished and boats launched and we were fishing. The Box is a beautiful canyon with some areas of really fast water. We were nymphing and had to weight our lines to get the flies down to the fish. We got some big rainbows for our efforts. We encountered some heavy rain showers that got us all shivering despite having on our rain gear. The afternoon saw us floating on calmer waters. As we got closer to the Last Chance takeout, Tom switched to a parachute adams dry fly and had a huge rainbow take it in the shallow water. We took pictures and continued on to the take out. We had dinner at Trout Hunter and the Romneys went to the ranch to fish, Tom fished near our motel and I found a hot tub to soak my shoulder in.

On Sunday, our last half day, we decided to fish the Box again. We did not want to do an all day float because we had to drive back to Salt Lake that day. The Box was perfect for that. Drew had Tom and me in his boat again and once again we picked up big rainbows in the Box. We had our nymphing rigs dialed in with prince nymphs, pheasant tails, and copper johns. Briant showed me how he ties on his weight terminally which helps from losing so many flies. It was like deja vu, having just fished the same canyon the day before. This day, however, I caught the big rainbow on a parachute adams right before we got to the take out.

There was nothing left to do but pack up and head home after a great weekend of fishing with great friends.

Wildlife Trifecta/Zion National Park

I got a few days off so Diane and I decided to go down to southern Utah for a

few days. We went by to visit our friends, Tom and Jan who have a house in

Hurricane Utah. We went for a hike along the Virgin River and came across a

desert tortoise. It is indigenous to the area but not too often seen. It was

smaller than I had expected but maybe it was a baby. That afternoon we drove to

Springdale, Utah, just outside Zion National Park. It was not the busy season

yet and we were able to find a cute little motel called Flannigans. It had a

shaded courtyard and was quiet and serene. After checking in, we took the

shuttle into the Park and got off at Weeping Rock. We hiked up to Hidden Canyon

and the afternoon sun warmed us up as we ascended the steep trail. We entered

the shadows of Hidden Canyon and enjoyed the cool air. We misjudged the amount

of water we should have taken and got a little thirsty on the way down. It was

back to the motel for a quick clean up and then to the Spotted Dog Cafe for

outside dining and a great meal.

The next day we decided on an ambitious hike to the top of Angel's Landing. It

doesn't sound too bad "on paper": about 2 1/2 miles one way with a 1600 foot

elevation gain. It starts out OK but each segment got more arduous. A pleasant

walk along the Virgin River turned into a steep uphill that got us breathing

hard and saw us making several stops to "enjoy the scenery"! Again, it was

warming up but as soon and we make a turn into a canyon, the cool air coming

down from Refrigerator Canyon cooled us down. We traveled along that canyon

until we got to the infamous Walter's Wiggles. That was a serious climb of

multiple switchbacks that got us up to Scout's Lookout. This is also where the

West Rim Trail merges with the Angel's Landing trail. We were now looking at the

knife-edged fin of sandstone that leads to the summit of AL. It is so steep and

narrow that the Park Service has installed chains along the route to cut down on

the number of dead bodies that they have remove from the bottom! After a long,

difficult and scary climb to the top we reached our goal and documented it with

a few pictures. We had to be careful coming down for now our legs were tired and

shaky and we still had to worry about the the 1000 foot drop offs on either

side. Well, we made it down and when we got to Refrigerator Canyon we looked up

canyon and saw 3 California Condors riding the thermals up above. As we

continued down, we encountered a volunteer ornithology ranger who asked us if we

wanted to see a Mexican Spotted Owl. She lent us her binoculars and we got to

see the bird nesting on the ledge of sandstone. What a treat! That is when I

came up with the term, Wildlife Trifecta.

 On this trip we saw a desert tortoise,

California Condors and a Mexican Spotted Owl. Some people go their entire lives

without seeing any of these things and we got to see all three in one trip. We

hiked down and caught the shuttle and went back to Springdale. We had dinner at

the Bit and Spur that night and slept very well. The next day it was back to

reality.

Glad That's Out

Well, it has been said before that I have a screw loose. It turns out that I had more than one screw loose and a broken plate and broken screw in my neck. I got them all removed last Friday by my friend Bob Hood. He had to leave the tip of one broken screw in because it was embedded in the bone. I stayed overnight in the hospital and came home on Saturday. I had a couple of unpleasant days but have done real well since then. It has been a real pain in the neck(ha).